Onward

I seriously have no idea how to begin.

Did I mention that my plan was to be curled up in bed with my puppies, watching reruns of Parenthood and falling asleep right about now?

But I can't wait any longer.  It's time to let you in on a little more of what's going on at Casa Brimhall these days.  (I know, I know...you already know more than you ever wanted to...)

No, we are not pregnant.  And let me just tell you what-- for the second time in a row now, there is NOTHING magical about wishing upon a star during the fireworks show at Disneyland.  Nothing.  Well.  Maybe you could wish for an ice cream cone or a new pair of shoes.  But that baby?  Forget it.  I've tried twice now and it didn't work.

But in all seriousness (that was me joking--it's okay to laugh....) no we aren't pregnant, but we do have some.  News?  And even though we shared it with our closest friends and family a few weeks ago, we think it's time to share.  We want to share.  We want you to hope for us.  To wait with us.  To anticipate with us.  To pray with us.  And we want you to continue to be a part of our family journey.  So many of you have offered your condolences, your kindness, your encouragement, and your support over these past couple of grief-filled years.  You've been a part and we want that to continue.

I'm sure this will be the least shocking thing that you've heard in a while, but sometime in mid September, we began the first steps of looking into adoption.  We printed out some information, talked to a couple of friends who had been through the process, and asked God to show us what He wanted us to do.  We began investigating a local agency and started figuring out what the first of like a hundred sets of paperwork might entail.  We didn't really discuss what we were doing with anyone and decided that when we returned from our Disneyland trip at the end of October, we would get serious about getting our application into the agency.

And then the phone rang.

It was Karen.  And I was worried.  Now.  Let me tell you something about my phone and Karen.  That statement made me laugh.)  Okay, but seriously, when it comes to Karen, she's typically the source of most of my text messages and many of my emails.  Like.  Probably almost all of my text messages are between Karen and me.  And when I'm in the kitchen doing something and my text indicator buzzes five times in a row, one right after the other?  Well, I don't even have to look because I KNOW it's Karen.  (It's funny because it's true.)  All of this to say that while the two of us are in constant communication either about just our lives or about ministry-related activity, we actually don't get to do a whole lot of verbal communicating.  And so when I saw that number one, she was calling, and number two, I knew she had to be at work, my heart sank because I thought-- oh no, whose baby has died now?  I know that sounds terrible, but that's kind of the reality of the position we are in with the ministry and the loss mommas with whom we get to walk.  And we are grateful to be where God wants us.  But again-- all of that to say that I knew something had to be up and I thought it might be terrible news, whatever it is.

And so I picked up.  And she asked if I had a minute to talk.  So when I asked what's up, she told me that she'd just gotten a call from her mother in law.  Which wasn't unusual-- but the reason for her mother in law's call was definitely out of the ordinary.  She was calling Karen because she had recently reconnected with an old friend who just the night before told her that she found out that her young daughter was pregnant.  Sarah* had just told her mom the night before that she was pregnant and that she wanted to give her baby up for adoption and wanted to know if her mom knew of any Christian families who were looking to adopt.  And so as I sat, the phone to my ear, Juno shoving a tennis ball into my lap and Jesse washing dishes in the kitchen, my jaw dropped and I stared at the coffee table, unable to react.  See.  This gal had just talked with her sweet mom and asked for help to find a home for her baby.  Her baby who was due to be born on December 11th.

Now you know why my jaw was on the floor.

Fast Forward to today, 11/15. Also, this is Jesse now, because I think I may have a gift for a slight bit more brevity, and you might be looking for that.

We have met with many of those that we would consider mentors, we have met Sarah* and the father, we have met with a couple representatives from the adoption agency, made many phone calls, and are starting our ascent of the Mount Paperwork (a definite class 6 for my climbing friends). We just got off the phone with *Sarah and it sounds as though things are still going forward, and she still likes us. 

Let me be as frank and as blunt as possible. This is going to be an uphill battle. We have to basically try to get 6-9 months worth of work done in the next few weeks... Or at least be in process on said work so that we might gain temporary custody while we continue to move forward. The truth is, we're scared. There is a potential that we could bring this baby home, and end up being her "foster parents" for a few days, weeks, or months, before someone makes the decision to move her to another home. We decided that we are going to move forward. God puts opportunities in our path, and we have to move toward them. A wise friend of our said that if we don't move forward, we've lost this child. We still may, and we know that, but we have a peace about it. We are going to move forward, through every open door, until God closes one on us. It may result in all of our effort being put toward the adoption of another child down the road, or it may result in us bringing this child home, and the most epic midnight Wal-Mart run of all time gathering all of the baby stuff we need. Either way, it will be unforgettable, and we're excited to see what God has in store for us, our family, and this child.

We have come to know many of you as great emotional supporters over the past couple of years, and we have some prayer requests to bring to you at this point.

1. For those of you who have known Becky for a long time, you know that she has a past. While God has redeemed her and done a huge work in her life as a result of it, there are continued legal ramifications that are a real challenge in this process.

2. We have to do some fundraising to make this a reality, and that's never a super easy task. I for one, have a very hard time with it, but to make it easy, there's a fundraising widget on the side of the blog, and if you feel led to help us in this journey, that site is the best way to do it. 

3. We have to prepare our home, not only for a child, but for the agency to do a "Home Study" and decide that it is a safe environment. 

4. We would also ask that you would pray for wisdom for us. Not just in pursuit of this child, and this adoption, but also in supporting the child's parents as best we can through this.

I know that a lot of you are seeing this info for the first time, and that you probably have a lot of questions. So do we, frankly. We will clarify all we can as we can as we move forward.

Thank you for your prayer, your support, and your love over the past years, and moving forward in this with us.  We would not still be here if it weren't for you.

And thank you for joining in the premiere of blogging by Jesse. 

*name changed for privacy.